2010 Resolution

I don't know about your household, but my children quarrel a lot! Actually, they brawl! Hitting, crying, and yelling are part of our daily lives. I took my concern to the Lord recently and felt propmted that if I would get the children together to read scriptures and have family prayers in the morning in addition to our nightly routine, we would be blessed with more abundance of the Holy Spirit in our home.

So I have, and the biggest change I've noticed has been in me. I explain what is happening in the few verses we read and describe how it relates to our family. I doubt the children remember to be forgiving right before they swack their brother or sister, but I remember. I still become upset when they fight with each other, and that's what I want to change. My appraoch and example of how to handle situations.

Do you ever raise your voice or violently pull children apart only to remain exhausted and with your spirits down?

Crying and whining drive me to give in and provide my children with snacks or fun trips out to places. My three-year-old daughter threw a fit all the way home from the store because we didn't get her toy horse that she carried to the check-out stand. It was difficult for me, but I felt a sense of satisfaction once arriving home for NOT giving in. When I prayed about it I thought, "Heavenly Father, you don't withhold things from your children or send us through trials because of any other reason than that you LOVE us."

I have to take care not to give them things at the wrong times or for the wrong reasons. Special trips should be earned or for special reasons. If snacks were given to the children at a time when they are all playing nicely with one another, then they would learn that they don't need to whine to get food.

I have got to learn and exercise my self-discipline when it comes to my response to the things that drive me mad. When I am at home or with my children, I have to be available to them always. At least be aware and paying attention to their needs before they get too tired or hungry. Boredom also is an antecedent to quarreling, which is why it is important to stop and play with the children throughout the day. Sorry laundry, you'll have to wait til later tonight!!

I remember when I was in 1st grade and I didn't do well on a spelling test. My teacher kept me in to do it over again. He told me to number my paper and I asked, "do I have to?" "Yes." He simply said. I am still being taught and trained in my life today. We are to teach and train our children and however we do it, we need to do it lovingly. That is my 2010 New Years Resolution.

Finding Serendipity

Thank you Linda Eyre for bringing to our awareness that challenging situations can actually be enjoyable.
A Secret called Serendipity. "The definition of serendipity is 'through awareness and sagacity, finding something good while looking for something else.' Be ready for the unexpected, serendipity usually happens because of a crisis or when you are least expecting it! It might be getting a great idea because of something your child said or did. It might be taking a minute to enjoy a gorgeous sunset. It might be getting a call from a long lost friend, just when you thought it was so important to accomplish something else. An annoying interruption by a child becomes an opportunity!"
Karrol Ladd tells us that "peace is not simply a feeling of euphoria based on calm surroundings. Peace is a perspective. It is a trustful realization that God is in control and has our life in His hands."
Through our daily chaos of rearing children, keeping a house, growing our spousal relationships, and caring for our own temporal and spiritual needs, we can find joy creating serendipitous moments.

Five Different Ways to Show Love

There are five major ways we show love and feel loved:
1. Quality time (Doing something your child loves to do just the two of you.)
2. Physical touch (High fives, tickling their back, playing with their hair...)
3. Acts of Service (Fixing their bike, sewing a hole in their fav blanket...)
4. Gift giving (Sneak a new pencil into their backpack, give a stuffed animal to them when they go away on a sleep-over... to let them know you are thinking of them not for any particular occasion.)
5. Words of Affirmation (Saying kind things about them that are true; encouraging, appreciating.)

Do you notice how each of your children respond to each of these?
What are your children's love languages?
Also, take notice of the things they do for you.

It may be beneficial today to write things down when you notice them. Learning to speak your children's love languages can change negative behavior so quickly and tighten mother-child bonds, too!!

Be Calm To the Button-Pusher

How good is your relationship with each of your children?

What is something they do that pushes your buttons?

What do they do to make you smile?

What do you think they were born with the natural talent to do?

What can you see each of your children doing to contribute to God's work and thus attain salvation?

Work on bring your relationships even closer. Revile Not.
As the Savior taught through His living example, he went like a lamb to the slaughter. He did not strike back at the soldiers or those who betrayed Him.

Following the Saviors example, we too as mothers should resolve to not strike back at our children. Today, when we know our children are acting out, rather than becoming frustrated and reviling back at them let us be calm and identify their need. (Usually sleep, food, or love.) We will become Christlike parents as we follow His loving example.

A Perfect Love

Moroni 8:17 "And I am filled with charity, which is everlasting love; wherefore, all children are alike unto me; wherefore, I love little children with a perfect love; and they are all alike and partakers of salvation."

Each of our children have different personalities, temperments, buttons they push with us, ways they make us smile... Today pray that you can love and appreciate each child the way the Lord loves His children in this scripture.

The Cause

Throughout my journey as a mother I have read many books on the topic. I strived to understand my children and myself as a mother more and am still in the process. My children are 5, 3, and 2. I am so happy to have children as I was married for 4 years before we had any. My goal is to be here for my children physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. In my heart, I can testify that every child yearns for a loving mother and father and even though we fall short sometimes, we have the opportunity each day to create happiness in our homes and among ourselves and our children.
As I have read inspired writings from parents and professionals I have made a collection of favorite books. I am very enthusiastic to put together "Mommy Curriculum" for a ward and family Mommy Club. I invite you to come to my home with other mothers to discuss one topic a week in an uplifting environment. You will return home encouraged and empowered with ways to learn about your childrens' personalities, a refreshed perspective of parenting, higher principles of discipline, and the strength of friendship.