My Mothering Story

Today was our ward conference and my husband is the bishop so he wasn't sitting with us. I decided not to take toys to church with us because they defeat their purpose in keeping kids well-behaved. So I was being insistent on the kids sitting up, not crawling under benches, nor dancing in the aisle, and definitely folding arms during prayers. Well, I had to grab my children at times and hold them in a locked position until they agreed to sit reverently. Come on, I can't take one out or the others will follow. So, at one point I look up and realize that the stake presidencies of all the auxiliaries are in our sacrament meeting and one in particular from the primary presidency is staring me down. I quickly looked away and then back to see if she was still looking, which she was, then I popped my eyebrows up like, "What!" Then looked away again thinking, "It's been so long she doesn't remember."
Between using the LOVE AND LOGIC parenting techniques (which I totally love and am of the opinion that they correlate with gospel principles),trying to follow Larae's example of being SWEET AND CALM, keeping a TONE that is non-negotiable so as to cut down on arguments-get more cooperation and help my children feel secure with me, as well as being CONSISTENT in assisting them do what I expect (i.e. sit still in sacrament mtg)... I think I may be getting the hang of how to mother; five years and three children later...
I didn't have an example of how to raise children when I was young. Presently I read, look to others, and learn from trial and error. I realized today that people have different trials in their lives that they are assigned to come unto Christ in despite of. I have lots of other trials once grand but now small, but in the department of motherhood mine is not having an example to draw from; not small children anyway. I was adopted when I was 15 and my mother did a great job with us as teenagers. Perhaps that's why I feel so comfortable with them.
Then I thought that this was a pretty well-devised test on the Lord's part. I have a son who keeps me so busy with his demands, who needs a lot of guidance and instead of raising him the way somebody else would I am compelled to raise him as the Lord would have him brought up. This is because the guidance I receive is from the Spirit each day.
In our ward conference today we sang the hymn Be Thou Humble no. 130. The words in the first part of the second verse took me back.
"Be thou humble in thy calling and the Lord thy God shall teach thee, to serve his children gladly with a pure and gentle love."
I know I am always concerning myself with what others may be thinking. Not sure, nor confident. When my children respond with crying and refusals I get this feeling inside that really upsets me. That I'm doing it incorrectly, there must be a calmer solution we could agree on, if the children are unhappy with me maybe the Lord is unhappy with me. And then I knew, that growing doesn't always feel good. It's difficult to stand by what I feel is right when my children are upset and blaming me, "you're mean mom!" The realization is this is what life is. It's the same process we are going through with our Heavenly Father and the more I stand by my convictions in raising my children, the better it will be for them. No matter who looks at you like you're crazy. And I know I can always go to the Lord for strength to stay the course. It doesn't always feel good, it's adversity, and in the words of my stake president, "it sanctifies us."